turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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