Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
