If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
