i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
