Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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