You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Drake has all the answers
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
