WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
