Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
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I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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