in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
