You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
