I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
