Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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