The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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