State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
