I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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