It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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