I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need to calm my uterus...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
