is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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