Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
