his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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