that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
