I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
