just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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