Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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