would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
