Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
