My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
