Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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