Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course

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(302): I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course http://tfl.nu/mcvz

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(540): View more from Virginia

I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.

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(540): I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed. http://tfl.nu/g7od

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(847): View more from Illinois

His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.

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(847): His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it. http://tfl.nu/zrgw

Replies (36) Good night (1244) Bad night (6487)
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(574): View more from Indiana

He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy

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(574): He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy http://tfl.nu/cwdv

Replies (13) Good night (4767) Bad night (940)
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(+49): View more from Germany

The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?

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(+49): The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed? http://tfl.nu/pvwt

Replies (8) Good night (4057) Bad night (1453)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i think the doormans mad at me

(773): View more from Illinois

well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...

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(630): i think the doormans mad at me (773): well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while... http://tfl.nu/017x

Replies (12) Good night (1372) Bad night (2608)
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(216): View more from Ohio

you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission

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(216): you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission http://tfl.nu/qszs

Replies (7) Good night (4449) Bad night (862)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.

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(503): i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding. http://tfl.nu/0bxz

Replies (10) Good night (876) Bad night (2976)
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(954): View more from Florida

Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?

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(954): Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs? http://tfl.nu/j7df

Replies (6) Good night (2437) Bad night (1065)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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(303): I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister http://tfl.nu/4y4g

Replies (5) Good night (2217) Bad night (742)
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(909): View more from California

and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....

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(909): and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests".... http://tfl.nu/4e7u

Replies (7) Good night (3689) Bad night (963)
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(708): View more from Illinois

If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later

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(708): If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later http://tfl.nu/o4md

Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (941)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

(847): View more from Illinois

Do you believe in miracles?

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(224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830

Replies (5) Good night (1440) Bad night (642)
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(443): View more from Maryland

How's my date look?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Like a retarded elf

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In a good way

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(443): How's my date look? (814): Like a retarded elf (814): In a good way http://tfl.nu/jjcc

Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (820)
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(703): View more from Virginia

there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.

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(703): there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners. http://tfl.nu/h528

Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (361)

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