"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
