Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.

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  (732): You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up. http://tfl.nu/jzsw
  Replies (8) Good night (714) Bad night (3070)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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  (541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc
  Replies (12) Good night (525) Bad night (2784)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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  (207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd
  Replies (17) Good night (612) Bad night (3386)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.

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  (602): I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left. http://tfl.nu/dy5w
  Replies (6) Good night (794) Bad night (3901)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

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  (613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx
  Replies (7) Good night (5488) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.

  (631): View more from New York

  what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK

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  (631): so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night. (631): what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK http://tfl.nu/1v47
  Replies (34) Good night (7227) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

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  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3700) Bad night (1706)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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  (407): Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go. http://tfl.nu/d64s
  Replies (10) Good night (4242) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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  (207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz
  Replies (5) Good night (5258) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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  (925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing?? http://tfl.nu/da8e
  Replies (14) Good night (3709) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.

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  (570): Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it. http://tfl.nu/ahvg
  Replies (7) Good night (2953) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

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  (609): I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room. http://tfl.nu/he9i
  Replies (8) Good night (616) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life

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  (219): I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life http://tfl.nu/kbbl
  Replies (4) Good night (407) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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  (239): We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious http://tfl.nu/iovv
  Replies (6) Good night (647) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.

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  (509): i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot. http://tfl.nu/0579
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (290)

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