he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
