i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.