And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
