There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
