windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
