I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
someone owes me an orgasm
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize