the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
