Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize