You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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