Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize