My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Nicole vs. Life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
