just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
