i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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