Swine flu. Run for my life!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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