go do what you do best...puke behind churches
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
