I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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