Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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