I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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