sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
