ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
