haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
