R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
