her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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