Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize