I wanna bring you to show and tell
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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