youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
