Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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