My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.