Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.

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  (703): in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner. http://tfl.nu/1ds9
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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  (720): I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit. http://tfl.nu/09qd
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  (631): View more from New York

  It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.

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  (631): It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates. http://tfl.nu/ctme
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.

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  (702): I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights. http://tfl.nu/kdxh
  Replies (7) Good night (3833) Bad night (677)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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  (337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.

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  (970): Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9pof
  Replies (17) Good night (920) Bad night (5166) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.

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  (802): Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle. http://tfl.nu/jhbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2902) Bad night (1394) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.

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  (519): I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy. http://tfl.nu/1qel
  Replies (22) Good night (5898) Bad night (1079) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.

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  (916): Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am. http://tfl.nu/a8h9
  Replies (3) Good night (1864) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??

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  (701): She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that?? http://tfl.nu/2mxl
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

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  (774): He likes bondage and spanking and shit. (508): Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that. http://tfl.nu/4784
  Replies (9) Good night (3033) Bad night (510)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.

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  (+44): When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone. http://tfl.nu/uct6
  Replies (4) Good night (430) Bad night (1074)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop

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  (609): You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop http://tfl.nu/nra3
  Replies (6) Good night (905) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point

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  (724): I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point http://tfl.nu/cccx
  Replies (9) Good night (1642) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!

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  (505): This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want! http://tfl.nu/7h8o
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt

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