TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??