I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
