So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
