How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
