thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
