this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
