i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I faked an abortion last night.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
