thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
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His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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