I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
